Reflections

My last post indicated that my grad school adventure had begun and now I have completed 2 semesters. What a ride! Those were two busy semesters. After our exciting move out east last August I was eager to get going and use my brain to think about Development and get back into academia. And I did. I loved those 2 semesters filled with interesting reading, great conversations about poverty, development, and hope for the future of the world. (No need to worry, my fellow IDSers and I have all the problems of the world under control;)

The first semester was scary. I am always amazed by how much ego is involved in university and quickly felt my old anxieties threaten to resurface. I surprised myself though and did a much better job of keeping school as just the 'work' part of my life rather than allowing it to become a critical determinant of my self-worth.  Prior to going in, I had heard that grad students can be kind of 'cut-throat', which really isn't my style, so I was nervous. Although it took me a little while to get to know my 8 other classmates, I was blessed to find that they are great group of unique individuals who I find interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed studying with them for the past 8 months. We've shared many laughs, encouraged each other, edited papers for one another, overcame insecurities, and generally just learned to walk through the grad school experience with one another. Second semester was much less stressful than the first because we finally had a 'handle' on the school stuff (and our annoying philosophy was class over) and a few friendships were able to grow deeper. The only bad part was that it was over too soon! Now each of us is focused on our individual thesis projects and field research plans, so we don't know if or when we'll all end up in the same place at the same time again.  

One of the greatest blessings in my life over the past few month has been meeting some wonderful friends through a college and career group at my friend's church - which now also feels like it is becoming my church too. I started going there in January and just seemed to connect with a few people. God knew what I needed and He provided: relationships outside of school to connect me to the the world outside of academia. I have been blessed to share faith and life with these people. We've shared meals, bible study, hikes, laughs and even trained for and ran a 5km race with some of them! Community is such a foundational part of my faith and these people have blessed me by becoming my Halifax community.

The greatest challenge of grad school was ironically not academic. In October, we had to make the tough decision for Matthew to go back to Saskatchewan to work because he could only find casual work in his field here - and he had an excellent full-time job back home in a specialized area of nursing. It was not a fun decision to have to make. Being apart for the majority of the last 8 months was really tough at times - even awful sometimes. I think school stress seemed less than it did at undergrad level because I was distracted by this other stress in my life. However, there were blessings in this too, because Matthew got to live with his sister and her family during his time there, which gave him some extra time with them and more time with our sweet nieces. As a couple, we've also learned to  be thankful for the time that we have together, rather than be sad about the time that we are apart....that's not to say that we are no longer sad about it, but we just try to let thankfulness be our primary focus. Now that we are in the last few months of this long-distance phase, I can see that we've grown from the experience. Matthew has been so strong throughout it all, he is always reminding me that this is just a temporary circumstance that has to be endured to accomplish a goal. I often think of Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Our plans are not always God's plans and I need to learn to trust. I am learning, but this is really not something that I will ever have fully learned. It is a process. I am sure that as the years go by, we will look back on this experience and see that we learned many things from the challenge of it and that it had a purpose. I am just so grateful for the experiences we've had, the things we have learned, and the people we have met here. If nothing else, it has certainly made for an interesting chapter our life!